What happens when love between a couple is lost, but the commitment to their pets remains strong? Relationships are tricky, but what can be even trickier is how to manage custody of the pets when a couple breaks up. While dogs, cats, and other animals are largely considered property under the law, they are so much more than that to their human families. For some, the relationship is akin to that of parents and children, and if they split up, the idea of being separated from their pets becomes a big issue. Enter the pet prenup, a growing trend among pet owners. What exactly is a pet prenup? I get into the details and more.
Pets Are Family
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Our animals become members of our family, and in many places, like the United States, there are a growing number of couples who do not have children but who develop a relationship with their animals that is similar to that of a parent and child. Dog ownership is steadily increasing in the United States, and our furry family members often get caught up in the crossfire when life changes happen.
Caring for dogs and cats allows us to have companionship, satisfy the evolutionary need to care for something, and significantly improve our mental health. Pets bring tremendous benefits to our lives, and it is very common as relationships advance for a dog or cat to be added to the mix. While this is an amazing and happy time, if there is a break-up down the road, it can be tough to decide who has to part with their fur baby. It is not a position that any fur parent wants to be in. This leads to the practice of co-parenting or co-petting.
What Is A Pet Prenup?
A pet prenup works in much the same way other prenuptial agreements do. A good majority of the time, a pet prenup is part of a more extensive prenuptial agreement that addresses what happens should a couple break up after marriage. However, unmarried couples can also enter into these types of agreements for their pets.
Pet prenups are often referred to as animal care agreements, or a cuter name, “paw-nuptials.” They are becoming more common as pet ownership has dramatically increased since the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic, but pet custody cases have been on the rise even before then. These prenups include considerations for who has physical custody, decision making, and who pays for healthcare and regular upkeep like food, beds, crates, and other supplies.
7 Things To Include In A Pet Prenup
There are a few key things to consider when drafting a pet-nuptial or pet care agreement.
- It should clearly identify the parties involved, including the animal’s breed, age, and name. It should also include details about when the adoption occurred and how long the relationship has been going on.
- A detailed custody and visitation schedule should include where and when exchanges occur. The parties must agree on a time split, which can range from a fifty-fifty split to occasional visitation.
- Deciding how your fur baby’s care expenses will be covered post-split is essential. In many cases, the person with the most custody will pay the majority of the expenses. However, laying out who will cover what, if costs will be split equally, and how health care costs and pet insurance will be split ahead of time is a good idea.
- An animal custody agreement should also include a provision preventing either pet parent from leaving a dog at a shelter, rescue, or research facility. If one ex encounters a situation in which they cannot care for the animal, the other owner should have the opportunity to assume full custody.
- It’s also smart to decide how to handle major decisions. Both parties can share responsibility for decision-making, or one party may be authorized to make these decisions alone.
- Keep in mind that pet care agreements are held under the law of the state where both parties reside and work. In some cases, parties may live in different states and will need to decide which state’s laws they want to use to settle any disputes.
- Speaking of disputes, conflict resolution, and mediation can also be included in a pet prenuptial agreement. This can include what states a lawsuit could be filed and provisions to try mediation before filing any litigation.
Why Do I Need A Pet Prenup?
Coming to an agreement about what will happen to your animals in the event of a break-up is not a prerequisite to adopting a dog or other pet. However, it is definitely something to think about. If you already have a prenuptial agreement that does not address pets in general or specific animals that you have adopted after marriage, you can enter into a postnuptial agreement for your animals. Of course, this does not have to be in the form of a formal agreement, but writing it down is a way to help keep your pup’s best interest above all else.
Whether you put it into the form of a formal, legally binding agreement or not, having this conversation pre-adoption is a good idea. While no one plans to split up or wants to, life is unpredictable, and sometimes, the unthinkable can happen. Dogs are very sensitive to their surroundings and the emotions and changes among those who care for and live with them. Far too often, a break-up can jeopardize a pet’s living situation and future, which is the last thing anyone wants when adopting a dog. The same goes for cats. A written agreement is preferable to a verbal one as it lays things out clearly should an argument arise later.
Prenuptial agreements for pets, animal care agreements, and provisions in divorces pertaining to pet custody are on the rise. This may be due to prenuptial agreements themselves becoming more common, as well as an increase in pet ownership, but it is also due to the incredible bond humans have with their dogs.
Sharing Custody Of A Dog
Do people really share custody of their dogs and cats post-breakup? I’ve seen this question a lot, and the answer is yes, they do. The specific details and sharing are different for every couple and every animal’s individual situation, but sharing custody of animals, especially dogs, is fairly common. This happens in situations for couples with both human and fur babies and couples with no human children.
In cases where one person has come into a relationship with pets, they almost always go with them post-breakup. Dog visitation has also become more common. This happens when one owner is better equipped to care for an animal in the long term, so the other gets visitation. This can be on a schedule or as requested.
Sharing Custody Of Pets And Children
When children are also involved, pets can be part of the custody-sharing agreement. In many cases, it is simply easier to do all these exchanges at once. This helps to reduce the drama and interactions that can lead to disagreements and other issues after a breakup.
What States Have Pet Custody Laws?
In many states, animals are legally considered personal property, but some have laws specifically concerning pets and their well-being or offering exceptional circumstances for pet custody. Alaska was the first U.S. state to do so. Some of the states that currently have laws or considerations for pet best interest include:
- Alaska – Awards sole or joint ownership, considers the pet’s well-being, care, and environment
- California – Joint or sole ownership, considering the care of the pet
- Illinois – Considers the well-being of animals and awards sole or joint custody, no visitation
- Maine – Considers the care and well-being of pets
- New Hampshire – Well-being, care, and best interest factor in
- New York – Awards custody in the best interest of the animal, with no official law
- Texas – Considers pet custody in the case of divorce with children.
- Vermont – Has a best interest of the pet standard, considers an animal’s welfare
- Washington D.C. – Considers an animal’s best interest, well-being, and care
In states without these laws, pets are legally personal property for sole custody and usually go to one owner, the one who primarily cared for them, or the one who purchased the pet. No states have pet custody laws for unmarried couples. A pet care agreement can be extremely helpful in this case and help avoid a legal fight over who gets the dog.
Frequently Asked Questions
There is a lengthy list of questions about sharing custody of pets and pet prenups. I’ve answered some of the most common questions below, but if I’ve missed yours, let me know in the comments. And if you have experienced co-parenting a pet after a breakup or have a pet prenup, I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments section or on our social media pages.
How Do Dogs React To A Break-up Or Change In Family Situation?
A break-up or change in family situation will affect your dog. While they cannot understand the situation the same way you, your ex-partner, or your children will, they can discern that something significant has happened. Dogs are highly intuitive, and they can read our emotions. Dogs can tell when we are sad and have a reaction to changes in attitude, routine, and demeanor.
While they may not specifically understand what has changed, pets can become anxious and confused. It’s important to try to stick to a routine as much as possible, including consistent food, walks, and going to the same vet.
Most dogs adapt to change well; after a few weeks or months, they will adjust to the new living situation. However, some can have a more challenging time, depending on how long the relationship lasts and how close they are to both parties. Stress-induced behaviors like eating poop, excessive chewing, or even becoming aggressive with people and other dogs can also occur.
Is Sharing Custody Of Dogs A Good Idea?
Sharing custody of dogs (and cats, etc.) is a slippery slope. In some cases, it is the right thing to do. In others, it can lead to lasting entanglement with an ex, which can be unhealthy for people and pets. Sometimes, pet co-parenting works for a while but must change when someone needs to relocate or gets a new partner.
The most important thing to consider is your pet’s welfare and quality of life. Moving from place to place can be stressful for pets. Along with the change in physical location, they may have different toys, beds, food, and care. Regardless of personal feelings, the well-being and health of your pup should be number one.
Whenever a pet is in a shared custody agreement it is important to pay attention to their demeanor, behavior, eating habits, and overall health. Many owners report their dogs experiencing symptoms such as appetite changes, increased anxiety, and even depression when their living situation changes or an owner leaves.
Do I Have To Be Married To Have A Pet Prenup?
You don’t need to be married to have a pet prenuptial agreement. You can draft and enter into this agreement even after you adopt your pet. There are options to find free forms and templates online, or you can contact an attorney or paralegal to help you draw up an agreement.
You can learn more about pet custody disputes and stolen dogs in our detailed article on dog ownership laws. While it is a hard subject to talk about, and breakups are very painful, pets are important family members, and it’s essential to consider them during major life changes.
Are You Ready To Commit To A Dog?
Relationships are hard work, and so is caring for a dog. Regardless of breed or size, all dogs come with some challenges and a lot of responsibility. Whether in a relationship or single, it’s best to consider all the factors before bringing a new dog into the mix. Consider your available time, budget, and space a dog needs. You can learn more about getting ready for dog ownership in our puppy guide. Also, consider if children or other pets are in the home. If you have any questions about dog ownership, health, or behavior, head over to our Canine Journal Forums, a community where dog owners and experts interact, ask, and answer questions.
Why Trust Canine Journal?
Danielle has cared for dogs for over 30 years. Many of her dogs have been rescue pups, including those with special needs like epilepsy, heart disease, anxiety, allergies, and more. Danielle has a background in education and behavior management. She uses these skills in her work as a canine researcher to help other pet owners provide their dogs with the best care possible.